Wednesday, September 12, 2007

CHECK MY HEART




I have only always wanted to blog about happy things and good stories but life is not always filled with just the good things and if I said I had no difficulties or struggles I would be living a lie, Paul puts it so nicely that “I want to do good then I do the opposite” (my words)

So today I want to share my heart on something that I just need to get off my chest and this is my daily journal on my blog, so please bear with me. I don’t know if people think that once you leave ministry that God takes His anointing and your brains from you. That you now become a meaningless bumbling idiot, but somehow this is how some people treat you.

My darling Fred is a man that really thinks things through before he speaks even in our home, yet when he has thought something through and starts to speak you know you better pay attention to what he is saying as these will be words that are seasoned with Gods word and wisdom. Yet because we have failed (according to man) when we left ministry his advice is no longer accepted for what it is.

He has always been involved in ministry concerning the law enforcement and especially legalities of children – he was a police officer with the child protection unit he is a registered play therapist and studied Psychology and social welfare, and to add to that has a theology degree, I don’t think this makes him a fool, yet his advise is taken in to question because he no longer bears the title of REV. So as he was giving advice to a couple that are starting a home for orphaned babies, it was almost nullified by the comments and statements on of our leaders said, I was so angry by the time I got home, but my darling just said “My Girl, you need to be the least and let it go, I don’t have to justify myself to anyone….” I wish I could be so secure like this darling man of mine.

Girls I had to check my heart and have been doing that the whole evening from the time we got home to the early hours of this morning just crying out before God. I have no idea why this has caused me such stress and anguish, I feel as if the enemy is out in full force to destroy the destiny that God has for my husband, I know that I have all the power through the name of Jesus Christ, but today my hands are weak and feeble.

We come from a more traditional background then the church we are in right now, and when I say traditional let me say the only tradition in it is that the elders govern the pastor! Further than that they are born again, spirit filled, tithing, praising Jesus church. As God has healed my husband and I from hurts we endured under our old church, God has given us such a love and compassion for these people in our old churches and doors are opening in such away that we know its only God that can do it, some of the leaders not our Pastoral team but just leadership guys look down on it as if, our way and church has arrived and why bother you should be doing this in our church group. I must just state that our pastors are so excited to see God moving on our behalf and support us in every way.

We are going to be going back next year, and already have such an open door to preach and teach into our old churches. We are so excited we really feel to do some preaching on raising sons in the house.

Today all I can do is hang on to scripture.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17. “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and gave us everlasting consolation an encouragement and well-founded hope through His grace.
Comfort and encourage your hearts and strengthen them make them steadfast and keep them unswerving in every good work and word.”




Love always me

5 comments:

Mindy said...

Girl,
Just know I am praying for you!
Ministry can be so difficult!
Blessings on your and your family as you begin in ministry again!
In HIM -
Mindy

Shelly said...

Oh sweet girl...my heart aches for you.

I trust Jesus to be a shield to both of you, and I'm so glad that our worth and validity does come from Him (as you said).

Thank you for continuing to be ever-present in your authenticity and encouragement.

Sharon said...

Good for your man!
That he can stand in the face of adversity and he still stands firm---awesome.
It has taken me awhile to get to this point. God has used some mighty hard knocks the last couple of years to see if I would stand by what I know to be true and if I would look to Him only for my approval.
That I am approved by God has been a rough one for me.

Have you ever thought that what happened yesterday was just for your husband?
Maybe a small gift from God?
I don't know your husband- but if in the past this was ever a problem for your husband --maybe God allowed it just to show your husband that his heart has really been set free from the control of man.
If he truly did not feel bad about what happened--then praise God!
And as far as the other individuals --maybe a little spiritual growth in sensitivity is needed.
And what an awesome gift God gave you.He showed you that you have an incredible mature, secure Godly man. But then I think you already knew that. :)

Pastor Lisa said...

Oh Deb! I know days like this. But be encouraged! You're in my thoughts and prayers... Your dolla in Houston.

The Preacher's Wife said...

praying for you dear Deborah...your Fred sounds so wise. No doubt he's a man who understands God has His ear even if man doesn't seem to be listening.. He will lift you up in due time! :)

Lisa