Monday, January 26, 2009

ONE HIGH HEEL ONE SLIPPER



One high heel one slipper today is very personal.
Many of us battle with this issue. My weight!
I work for a company that helps with people’s weight loss, and I feel like a hypocrite when I do groups because here are all my members losing weight and becoming the beautiful new them….while I face my own inner demons on this front.
I start every Monday off on the right track eating my oats or whole-wheat toast etc but come Monday around lunch time I have been too lazy to plan and there for e I fail, even though I teach these girls that failure to plan is a plan to failure.
Two weeks ago I decided that enough is enough I am not feeling well by the end of the day I am grumpy and totally not myself, it’s like living with two different people inside of me, I had started getting hot flushes or so I thought….. Well I did think it had to do with the fact that I had a hysterectomy about 11years ago and in a few weeks time I will be 40!
I decided to come clean go to the doctor and even contact the founder and chairperson of the company for help… after a series of blood tests the doctor called me in and sat me down and gave me a lecture…. Because I think I know better than the doctor I change my medication and then stop taking the meds because I think I know better, because of this my thyroid has become even more sluggish and my insulin levels are through the roof, he has put me on 2000mg of glucophage and upped my thyroid medication…. The founder of our company has given me a new formula and I am happy to report that today which is a little less than 2 weeks I have lost 4kg/8.8 pounds. I feel so much better yet I still struggle to keep focused on my program.
I feel that this has something to do with things that I am not coming face to face about and I will start to share it here but will do so in small stages as I feel comfortable with and what the Lord is busy working on.
I love the Lord with all my heart but at times I really doubt the call that He has placed on my life and I slip or shy away from it… I don’t slip away from Him but from His requests…I have this feast and famine with the Lord. Let me explain…. I go full force in doing what He called me to do then I start to look at man and I slip and won’t go down the road with Him.
I am a real people pleaser and battle to say no… so it flows over into many areas of my life…. My eating my call my life in general. This constant walking around with one high heel and one slipper makes me a very open target to the enemy and at times I even allow it willingly.
I have decided to take the high heels off for a while and only walk in the slippers not because I am resting but I am trying to find the balance in my life again…starting with the time spent with the Lord and looking at what I put in my mouth…just as I journal so I am now doing a food journal so that I can see what is going into my mouth…what I read and who I associate with… I can’t run away from life but I can ask the Lord for His direction in all of this…

4 comments:

Jen said...

Such an honest post Deb...thanks for being real.
Love to you and it sounds like you are making some great strides.
Many Blessings
Jen

Sharon said...

I am so glad i saw your comment on facebook this morning, it just goes to show how our Lord works and leads us to people that we can share with. I posted a comment on facebook and you replied, with that i went into your profile and came across your web page, Deb's thank you very much, i too battle with my weight and most of all the willpower to stay focused. God bless you always and you will be hearing from me often

darla said...

I could have written this post about myself...I do believe God is doing a new thing..and yes I believe HE still does new things. Could be we have HOLY Discontent. I want to walk this with you, not just for you but for me too. Let's believe HIM for every single thing HE lays in front of us, Let's don't miss what ever HE is about to do.

(I am also watching what goes in my mouth, and even more what is going into my mind and heart..I LOVE YOU)

Kathy Butryn said...

Thanks for sharing your heart. I can relate! This is my first visit to your blog, and I've enjoyed reading your posts! I'll be back. Drop by and visit me sometime when you have a chance too!