Sunday, May 31, 2009

New Fragrance and attitude

Time for new attitude and fragrance.......

It feels like a life time ago that I wrote anything or even put pen to paper, today Sunday the 31st of May 2009, I took myself to a movie, yes for my dearly religious friends that I dearly love, I went and watched a movie that had me crying within the first 15 minutes of the movie.

I watched “the Reader” what a thought provoking movie for me at least, I watched as an older woman seduced a young man, it may sound immoral but it was truly beautiful to watch the love blossom between them, it lasted but a summer however the effect on his life was profound, how one person can leave a memory so philosophical that every fiber of his been marched to the cord of that love he has for this woman.

Yet his reaction to her when she needed him to stand up and make it count for her left him scared for life… I wont say much more just incase someone wants to go and watch the movie.

But here is my reflection on it; who has touched my life in such a way that I cant or can move forward, whose life have I reached that they continue to love me and have affection for me way beyond the bounders of life.

I came and sat at a coffee shop and ponder about many things, my heart is filled with emotion almost like river about to burst its banks, I could not help but cry even the waiter that helped me seemed to be moved by my show of emotion, for those of you that know me I am not really given to public display of emotion, however I am finding myself in the last week or so very aware of my emotions and the things I yearn for in life… and find that when writing I can express myself a lot better then if I tried to talk about it.

Life has very many faces to it and even the seasons that we walk through each have a new challenge and a new beauty to it, for most of you that know my hubby he is a workaholic, which can be very frustration and very lonely for me…. I have buried so much of who I really am because society almost commands us to conform… I have a love for the fine arts, opera, I love culture but because society says it’s not the norm for a married woman to go without a partner I have stopped going (even the church has a say about it); I have lost a passion of mine and in away lost a part of who I am.

I have been chatting to Fred about it when he has the time to sit with me and chat about things that don’t have to do with the general running of the house; I don’t think he fully understands the need I have to be inspired by the visual and even the emotions I have when I watch these deeply moving movies, however I have decided to pursue some of these loves I have; and even if I am all on my own; I know that I am been true to myself and not conforming to society…why do I have to listen to R&B when I love opera or the more jazzy type of music, why do I have to be in a business suite to prove I can hold my own in a mans world; I never signed up for woman’s lib or equal rights; I just came into the world to be a woman pursued and cherished….to be loved and adored…to love and give myself with every passionate fiber of who I am to the world…I want to let people see the fire I have in my soul.

love always me


Susie Q said...

What a beautiful has made me stop and think too...

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, my 'pink champagne' friend - i've missed u, and the way you inspire me. Love & choccie bubbles, Ve xxxx