Wednesday, August 22, 2007


1. Do you struggle with a sense of self-worth? How do you perceive this has affected the way you are able to 'keep your head upright'? If not, do you know someone who suffers in this area?
When we left ministry I had no idea who or what I was I had no sense of self worth, as I have gone through a process of healing and restoration I have come to a place where I know who I am and where I am going yet there is one struggle that I find that keeps coming back to bite me and that makes me feel that I am not worthy and that is my weight I know that this might not be an issue for my husband or children or my friends but it affects me in many ways: I lack confidence when meeting a new group for the first time and with me doing woman’s ministry talks that is on a regular bases. I feel that even though I speak on balance this is one area that trips me up, and therefore makes me hang my head. God has been so gracious to me in this respect that I can see change in a lot of areas where I had other struggles and now they are a walk in the park its just this area of my weight, please pray with me!
2. What are you most afraid of? Does this fear affect the way you move through life? (Ex. Are you overprotective with children? Afraid to take risks?)
I am afraid of car accidents and this effects my decisions sometimes when I have to decide on a speaking invitation. It takes the pleasure of seen our natural beauty around me because I am so busy watching all the cars on the road! Praise God for my wonderful husband some men might have dropped me along the road long time ago. So praise God I know that I am an over comer through Jesus Christ and I will get victory over this fear.
3. What is one of the most marvelous ways God has provided a need? I can't wait to hear your stories on this one!
We where a theology college and had to go on a trip into Africa we had no income and really had to rely on sponsors but our sponsors had already given over and above what they could give and we needed about R7000.00 not sure what the is in dollars, we had a time to go home and just rest before our mission trip which needed to be paid the day we got back, in my mind I had made a decision not to go. My faith was stretched I thought to beyond what I could cope with. We got home and decide not to visit our home church we did not want to go anywhere where people looked at us with ahh shame our poor theology students (pride on our part) anyway we went to my old home church and had such a wonderful day and the pastor at that time came to my husband and said he felt the Lord commanding us to go to our own church that night. To cut a long story short we went. Mean while back on the ranch our senior pastor had received a love offering of you guessed it R7000.00 that morning and while him and his wife where spending the money in their heads the Lord spoke clearly to him to give it to us. Well he decided that this must be himself and decide to ask God for 2 things that first we must be in the service tonight (we had told him we where not coming to our church that weekend) and the praise and worship leader must stop the worship team half way and ask if anyone has a testimony as you guess it all happened and we where able to go to the missions trip and get our diploma in mission ethics. And I could go on forever but this one is one that sticks out because it was our early years when we had nothing except a dream to work for the Lord! Makes me want to grab hold of Him even tighter and say Lord here am I send me!
4. Steve Brown, a Moody Broadcasting Bible Teacher, is one of the first people I ever heard teach the concept that God was not mad at me. I grew up in a denomination that led me to believe He was in a continuous state of disappointment over my failures. How about you? Though in your heart you know God says He loves you, does Satan in your mind ever try to convince you otherwise?
I must say not growing up in a Christian home when I did get to know God it was in a church that knew the concept of God love for you and so I don’t have that problem. I however have to find peace in knowing that I could not work to make me more special (perfectionism is a pest)
5. How close are you to your own Promised Land? Not at all, 1/2 way, almost there? By this I mean the place of abundant living and effectiveness here on earth, not the ultimate fulfillment in Glory! Though I hope you are going to heaven, I don't want it to be today! :)
I think I am ½ way there, need to work on a few issues then I will, however I have found when I think I have arrived my Lord moves my goal posts so never sure if I will have it 100% before I go to Glory land.

Love always me


Darla said...

Hey dolla! I have just given you an award over on my blog, come and get it! Sorry I have not had time lately to add the memes but I will. Love you have a great day!

The Preacher's Wife said...

I love how you said at the end 'when i think i've gotten there He moves the goal posts.'

That is so true! I believe we can operate in 'degrees' of Promise if that makes sense! He never leaves us unchallenged..Just like in Israel, there was lots of conquering yet to do when they got there! :)

Love you Deborah!


MiPa said...

Great answers! Thank you for sharing. Bless your week.

Denise said...

You are beautiful, weight is just a number. God loves you, just as you are. Bless you dear one.

Mindy said...

LOVE your answers! Ministry can wear you flat out sometimes but I try and remember that GOD IS ON MY SIDE. =)
In HIM -

Gretchen said...

Love this post, Deborah. Praise God that we can look to Him together for our weight struggles and that He sees us for the beautiful women He created. I'll pray for you. Wonderful story about your early days. If that's not what a miracle looks like I'm not sure what is.

I love your passion for Jesus. Here I am, send me! It's contageous, you know. :) xxxooogretchen

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

what an awesome testimony....

yes.. God sure can't be put in a box can He....

what a beautiful heart you have


Etta said...

What a wonderful testimony of His provision! I needed that! Thanks!

Susanne said...

I am with you dear sister in the "weight" category!! I am learning each day to claim the victory over this area of my life, and I know you can, too!! God is so good!!! Love you, girl!!